You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters

You speak, but to whom?

When New York Times writer Kate Murphy posed this question to individuals on five continents, the usual answer was an unpleasant silence that lasted a long time. It was difficult for them to think of someone, anybody, who would really listen to them without scowling, looking down at a phone, or interjecting with an opinion. A large number of people acknowledged that they weren't very excellent listeners, and the majority couldn't even define what it meant to be a good listener.

It feels like no one is really listening, or even understands how, in a world where technology facilitates continual digital contact and chances for connection. more it's making us less tolerant, more alone, more lonely than ever. Murphy was a listener by profession and was curious about our journey.

Murphy discusses why we're not listening, what it's doing to us, and how we may change the trend in this insightful and often amusing in-depth look. In addition to presenting us to some of the finest listeners out there (a CIA agent, focus-group moderator, barmaid, radio producer, and top furniture salesperson), she makes the psychology, neurology, and sociology of listening understandable.

Murphy found that listening is really the more powerful stance in communication, despite the fact that it is often seen as talking's submissive counterpart. Listening helps us learn. That is the way we bond, collaborate, become empathetic, and fall in love. We may choose to listen or not every day. Even though we may take listening for granted, who we are and the pathways we follow in life are shaped by how effectively we listen, to whom, and in what situations.

You're Not Listening, which is equal parts scientific investigation, cultural observation, and inspiring call to action packed with useful tips, is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. Now is the moment to listen instead of speaking.